- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 9 months ago by Heidi Quist.
September 27, 2016 at 10:27 pm #27743Chris MullinsParticipant
A while back I won a t-shirt at a recovery function that I was attending in my area. Now, I had no idea that I would actually walk away with it nor did I have a desire to honestly. On the front of the shirt was two hands holding a heart and on the back it read, “Secure in the love of the fellowship.” I thought it was pretty dumb myself. It’s not my “style” and it was girly. Anyways as time goes on and we continue to put in the work to not only maintain our spiritual condition, but nurture it and continue to grow our perception of things will change.
Two months into my journey seeking recovery I picked up the sponsor that I still have to this day. It was more of a have to thing at the time. I had to turn in verification that I had a sponsor in less than 3 days in order to move forward in the program at the recovery center I was living. At the time I thought I knew it all, I just wanted to complete their program so I could go home and continue in the insanity I had become accustomed to after so many years. So, he agreed to sponsor me and I went on about my way. I was bored and felt trapped where I was staying so I started calling him and asking for rides out of there. I figured out really quick that he would come get me and we would go drive around and eat food, that I didn’t have to pay for. Fuck yea, I was in. I can continue manipulating him and getting free food and rides, little did I know I wasn’t manipulating him at all. He was just doing what had been done for him and was probably getting a lot more out of the relationship than I was.
My sponsor was my first exposure to unconditional love in the fellowship. As time passed he not only welcomed me into his recovery family, but his personal family as well and I was accepted without judgement. From this relationship came all the relationships I have formed since then and the ones I am yet to form. From these relationships came a wider understanding of what love is. Which simply put for me is just a genuine care and concern for ones well being. We may not always get a long and we may won’t always agree on every aspect of life, but that is life. The people in my life today have helped me gain this understanding through personal experience. It’s not just something I read in a book. I live this fucking shit. Through the good and the bad they are there, as I am there for them today. Today I walk with faith. Not without fear, but with the courage to continue through, with faith in the people around me to guide me in the right direction and pick me up when I fall. Long story short, that t-shirt I was talking about, is my favorite one at this time. I love you all, thanks for taking the time to read this.October 5, 2016 at 7:35 pm #27744Heidi QuistKeymaster
Wow…powerful Chris…thank you again…your honesty is so awesome and inspiring! – Heidi