- This topic has 10 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by Heidi Quist.
August 9, 2014 at 1:46 pm #16245Anonymous AnonymousParticipant
Hi,, My name is Tanya and I am a recovery alcoholic/addict but my choice has been alcohol. I have been out now for 4 years. I have been around the table for 26 years off and on. I was sober for 13 years. 3 years, 18 months and then 6 months I have become a chronic relapser making it 3 months once 4 months and I may stay out 1 night or I may drink for a week straight daily. I drank til I was in a complete black out, that was the kind of drunk I was. This last time I hurt my family to the point that just finally let go, and it was probably the best thing but after this last drunk and living with myself for all the destruction that I had created something needed to happen so that I would have the desire to stop. I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t, I have been detoxed, taken by ambulance more times than I can count only to go back out and do it again. The last 4 years have been a horrible nightmare. Anyway, I am back here looking for support, friendship and a place for me to stay connected with others like me that show me that I am not alone. I hope to get to know you all.August 9, 2014 at 6:37 pm #16246Sol RKeymaster
Wow, thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story. Your share helped me today! I am always interested in hearing how you reached 13 years of sobriety and what happened. I am coming up on six years and feel I may be at a second surrender. I have realized lately I have been trying to really change and I have left out my Higher Power. This has become exhausting and my previous experience shows me when I include something greater than myself in the change process, it happens! Keep reaching out!
Great to see you here!
SolAugust 10, 2014 at 1:18 am #16247Heidi QuistKeymaster
Awesome Story Tanya thank you for sharing. I had a somewhat similar beginning to my recovery. I am so grateful today to be part of such a strong recovery community that can help me in every way imaginable. Myrecovery, where I live and meetings(also online meetings) has really helped make my recovery and complete and strong. I have really enjoyed being part of myrecovery and being able to share my experience, strength and hope with others. If you ever want to blog/write about your story myrecovery takes those and puts them up on the news wall for others to read and get inspiration! Congrats on your recovery and staying strong! HeidiAugust 10, 2014 at 9:17 am #16248Anonymous AnonymousParticipant
Heidi– Thanks for your support and I identifying, I am learning that I need to always reach out and always know that I am not alone. I have a tendency by choice to be on my own and when that happens I am doomed for failure. I am excited to join a group of recovering alcoholics. I look forward to getting to know you.
Sol– I look back at those 13 years and I was living in freedom but what happened was I got away from meeting for about 2 years and I began my setup for relapse and not knowing began to turn into a dry drunk, still not knowing this either. Eventually I had the desire to drink and I was so far from AA it did not even occur to me to go to a meeting or make a phone call. I was unarmed as they we are without defense when it comes to alcohol. If we are not spiritually fit, then we are in for trouble. I stopped living the principles, and became selfish and did everything that I did became selfish. We have to stay on top of this disease or I do anyway. Right now it is one day at a time, and I have the want to, to do this.
Thanks for being here for me and sharing your ES&H with me.
God bless you and Heidi.
My Big Book [img]http://www.myrecovery.com/images/fbfiles/images/DSCN0217.jpg[/img]August 25, 2014 at 9:48 pm #16257Jodi LParticipant
Thank you all for your posts. It’s a reminder to me to stay strong in the program and it’s a reminder to me never to let go of my higher power. God has done for me what I could not do for myself. The desire and obsession to drink is gone, despite the turbulence around me.
Keep reaching for the stars….never give up hope….always believe in yourself.September 2, 2014 at 4:23 am #16259Phillip Jerome BennettParticipant
Hello. I’m new to this site and to my myrecovery. After 40+ years of drinking, the last 10 heavily, I’m tired of constant relapses and ready to get on with a richer, fuller life. At 63, I don’t want to waste my last years. Thanks to all who shared today.September 2, 2014 at 4:42 am #16260Heidi QuistKeymaster
Awesome share!! Even though you may be going through a really hard time now and for the last 40 years you are doing the next right thing by reaching out and sharing your story. I can share my experience…I went to meetings/ online meetings, got involved in AA, got a sponsor and kept doing the next right thing. It was amazing how my life changed and turned around for the better. Can’t wait to hear more of your shares in the forum! Keep it up people love to respond and hear others in their journey! Have a great day!
HeidiSeptember 2, 2014 at 7:55 pm #16261Sol RKeymaster
Thank you so much for reaching out! Your story helped me today and I am sure it will help others. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did. How was your weekend? Keep in touch!
SolSeptember 6, 2014 at 7:00 pm #16262Phillip Jerome BennettParticipant
We’ll … Thinks haven’t gone so well. Unexpected company led to two nights of drinking. Last night was OK, so guess I’m starting over at starting over.September 8, 2014 at 4:54 pm #16263Heidi QuistKeymaster
Dogman – We fall and we get up. You said you were staring over again so that is good! I hope this week is better for you. Try an online meeting those help me sometimes during the week if I can’t get out to an AA meeting. How are you feeling today? HeidiSeptember 8, 2014 at 4:58 pm #16264Heidi QuistKeymaster
Dogman – We fall and we get up. You said you were staring over again so that is good! I hope this week is better for you. Try an online meeting those help me sometimes during the week if I can’t get out to an AA meeting. How are you feeling today? Heidi