- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by Marie B.
May 19, 2016 at 5:02 am #27695Marie BParticipant
I am trying to enter meeting, but I am not getting in. Ipad continuing to say I need latest version of chrome., which I already downloaded and updated.May 19, 2016 at 5:11 pm #27696Tom GParticipant
I’m certainly no expert (hopefully, someone who knows this stuff will also respond), but I believe the meetings do not work on handheld devices like I-Pads and Smartphones. It may only work with tablets, laptops and desktops.
It looks like there is a meeting today (Thursday) at noon central. Hope you can make that one.
We will also be continuing our ‘getting started with sobriety’ discussion next Wednesday, May 25 at 8:00 central.
Sorry to hear you couldn’t make it last night. Hope we can figure something out. Tom G.May 19, 2016 at 5:33 pm #27697Heidi QuistKeymaster
Marie – The online meetings only work on android smart phones, android tablets, pc/desktops(this can be an Apple product)…for some reason Apple has some weird things with it’s ipads that make it not work on those devices. If you have a pc/laptop or any android product it will work great. Let us know if you have any more questions! So sorry you couldn’t get in the meeting. If you need any help you can also write in this forum and people will respond in here to give strength hope and encouragement! – HeidiMay 19, 2016 at 9:00 pm #27699Lynn W.Participant
Is there a meeting? I just looked and didn’t see one!May 23, 2016 at 6:08 am #27701Marie BParticipant
Thank you Heidi. This is day 9 and I have to say I am now wondering if I need to follow through with this. The counselor said I do, and what I have is an addiction. However, I have went 9 days and last time went 14 days. I just visited with a good friend and asked her if she thought maybe I had blown this alcohol thing out of proportion. Maybe it is not an issue. I have not had to suffer any terrible consequences like losing my license or my kids. I seem to think I am not that bad and might not need to attend face to face meetings or pursue this. My friend says that if you can’t go without it for 30, 60, or 90 days and I crave it to escape or other things then it is an issue. The counselor said the same thing and recommended a face to face group. I believe my pride is getting in the way and I do not necessarily want to attend face to face meeting. I have read the Big Book and I can relate. However, I wonder if this is just becuase of the grief of losing my husband and eventually it will pass. But I know there has been somewhat an issue for 20 years with drinking and not able to stop at some points. I am probably in a little denial and I am probably trying to rationalize this. Anyone else experience this before when taking those first steps?May 23, 2016 at 8:01 pm #27702Tom GParticipant
This is my experience, if you are an alcoholic or if you are a problem drinker or if you don’t have a problem with alcohol can only be answered by you. Not by friends, counselors or people in AA. Yes, I did have a similar experience; that doesn’t mean we’ll have the same outcome, only that we and thousands of others have had the same questions.
Old timers in AA would say that if you think you might have a problem, then you probably do. No one can judge that, we can only stand by and help you with whatever you need.
In my experience, it wasn’t about how long I could go without alcohol, it is all about what happens to me when I do drink. In the past 17 years, I had one stretch of not drinking that lasted one week and one stint that lasted one month. I could do ‘no drinking’ for any length of time; I’m currently at the end of two years without drinking. For me, it’s not the ‘not drinking’ periods that’s the issue, it’s the drinking periods that are my problem.
A good friend of mine had 24 years without drinking. He thought it was safe to start some light drinking…wine only. Within 6 months he was downing bottles of the hard stuff every day and ended up in the treatment center with me.
When I drink, I can’t stop. When I drink, my life becomes unmanageable. I can’t control my drinking. My drinking controls me. I, too, never had legal consequences, even though I drank daily for years on end. It was an absolute miracle. I was never a black out drinker, that is probably the difference. I was always buzzed and often bombed, but would mostly be that way at home or when a lot of driving wasn’t necessary. But, believe me, I spent way more than my fair share of times figuring which of the three lanes I should be driving in on a two-lane road.
For me, admitting that I was an alcoholic and that I had a problem with alcohol, was terrifying and I thought I would be a bad person because of that admission. We all know that only bad people are alcoholics…there must be something wrong with their moral make-up!! Nothing could be further from the truth. People who can’t handle alcohol are people who are wired differently. Some people are allergic to peanuts, some people are allergic to bee stings. I’m allergic to alcohol. That doesn’t make me a bad person or a person with screwed up morals. It’s just the way I am.
As for advice…I would suggest going to a couple of AA meetings in your area (just remember, as you walk into that room that everyone in there also walked into a room for the first time. You will be among friends, not judgmental people). Hop on to one of the on-line meetings offered on this site. Listen to others tell their stories; maybe you will relate to what you hear.
As has been shown since AA’s founding in the 1930’s, the best chance that a person has to learn about alcoholism and recovering from that disease is through the fellowship of AA. I listened to a lot of social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists (all good people), but it wasn’t until I talked to and listened to other alcoholics that I felt at ease and that I belonged and began to understand that alcohol controlled me. All of those questions and doubts went away.
I and thousands of other people are pulling for you, Marie. I celebrate your nine days more than my two years. I have no control over that first drink. I have no control over anything other than not drinking each and every day. It’s a struggle, but I don’t have to take on that struggle alone. Everyday without drinking is a gift. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing and what your experience, strengths and hopes are.
I wish you well. Tom G.May 24, 2016 at 5:46 pm #27703Heidi QuistKeymaster
Marie – I went through this exact thing…feelings, rationalizing, justifying, minimizing…one person told me if it was all I ever thought about then to grab the Big Book read it and see if I relate. There are many many stories in the Big book, I don’t relate to all of them but I relate to a few and that was how I knew. They told me if I could relate to just one, then I was an alcoholic. It was hard to get the words out of my mouth…Hi I’m Heidi, I’m an alcoholic…it made me want to cry, I almost felt defeat. Altho…the first time I said it I felt a huge weight off my shoulders for some reason. I finally learned how I ticked and the people in the meetings got me and I got them…it was CRAZY! I started to realize this is where I belong a couple nights a week, with people that get my crazy thoughts, insanity and life. Now 6 years later I wouldn’t have changed anything I did for the world. My life is so much better. I could tell whenever stress came before I would jump to the bottle but now…I call my sponsor, my friends, my family etc…I live life on life’s terms. It’s crazy! Thanks for sharing your story I loved it and it helped me today, thank you for that! I hope all is okay, keep writing I would love to share my experience, strength and hope! – HeidiMay 31, 2016 at 9:48 pm #27706Marie BParticipant
Well I made it 14 days then back again to same habit. Today is day 3 again. I did seek out a grief support group that will begin in two weeks. I’m hoping that will help on the grief side. And maybe I will try the next online meeting here this week. It is such a back and forth event. One minute I think I am fine and don’t need help then another think to myself yes this is a problem if I am drinking alone at home and mostly during more stressful times or after a buildup of trying not to drink. A friend keeps telling me that if I can’t go 30, 60, or 90 days without it being such a struggle then it may be a problem. And the fact that I feel I need to calm down, crave it, or want to escape might be another clue. I am really frustrated that I can’t just knock this out on my own. I will try again.