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Hey all, I hope there is still an active community here. I have been home now for 2 months after spending almost 11 months at a recovery center. My work schedule makes it hard to do some of the things that I want as often as I would like, I am grateful for any chance that I get to share my experience, strength, and hope with a fellow person in recovery or for someone to take the time to share theirs with me. Anyways, like I said, I just hope there is still some activity here and I am more than willing to do anything that I can to help out.
Yes it is still here. Or it is here. I have only utilized this website and program for two weeks now. I am trying to just hear others stories to see if I can connect or if I actually have an issue or need more help. I am probably still in denial and looking to hear others and their stories. I know I probably have an issue but do not want to admit it or seek help. However, Tom has been helpful in making suggestions and I believe I will attend another meeting this week. I know I need to quit drinking, but when I go a few days without I am back in the cycle of believing there is not a problem.
I would appreciate hearing your story. And 11 months in a rehab facility seems like a long time. I wonder what types of out patient rehab facilities or help there is? And do I really need it. The counselor I spoke with is suggesting in person AA meetings as well as this site. She tells me hat although right now I haven’t incurred any serious consequences like losing my job or a DWI, I headed that direction. And that I need to stop now before it gets that far. If you want to attend the meeting this Wed evening I will be in attendance and would appreciate hearing your story if you want to share. If not I understand.
If we do not change direction, then we may end up where we are heading. You do not have to travel as far down the road as some of us have. Out of the 11 months that I spent at the Recovery center half of it was spent in the peer mentors office carrying the message to new clients that were coming in. Attending meetings in your local area is a great idea. It gives you a chance to find local people that you can relate to. No matter how different I think I am from someone I can always relate to them because not only do we suffer from the same disease, but we are both seeking a solution today. Maybe you are not as much in denial as you may think that you are. Reaching out for help shows that I believe. I would be more than happy to attend the meeting. I’m really glad you are here.
As far as the cycle goes that you are talking about, it is very real. That obsession to drink, that obsession and self deception that I can drink like I see people do all the time. That I can drink like a normal person. For me that is just not the case. I can convince my self quicker than anyone else that I do not have a problem. Especially after a few days of not drinking it doing anything. “Oh, well I haven’t drank in a couple of days, I can control my drinking. I don’t have a problem.” That’s just one of the many ways that my alcoholism deceives me. All the while shoving back the negative memories of things that happened before. It’s not about what or how much I drank for me today. It’s about what happens when I do drink.
Looks like I will have to attend the AM meeting Wednesday. The evening time I have events with my kids.
Wow! Great discussion, observations and sharing of experiences. That’s what we’re all about. That’s why we are here. We understand each other (like others can’t). We relate in a way that can save a life from despair, loneliness and ruin.
I totally get what Chris M. said that it’s not about how long I can go without a drink, it’s all about what happens to me when I do drink. I am simply powerless over alcohol. The only real power I have over alcohol is to not take that first drink. If I do, then I’m off to the races and out of control. Life becomes unmanageable really quickly.
Marie asked about out patient and other types of treatment available. There are many types of treatment available, both in-patient and out-patient. Each treatment center is going to have a different approach to recovery. Some are clinical based, some are spiritual based (emphasis on the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous), some are religious, some are … you can almost fill in the blank. As for finding one that works for you, I’d suggest going to a couple of AA meetings in your area, find the people in those meetings who are happy, joyous and free and ask them what worked for them.
I, too, never lost a job or got a DUI, even though I drove drunk nearly every day for 15 or so years. It’s only a miracle and a whole lot of luck that I didn’t. God knows I deserved many! It was my drinking and powerlessness that led to understand that I am an alcoholic, not the consequences (or, lack of same, in some cases) of my drinking.
This alcoholism thing really is cunning, baffling and powerful. And, Marie, it’s like the introduction to the second batch of stories in the back of the Big Book of AA says, these were the stories of people who hadn’t yet hit rock bottom, although they could see that bottom from where they were. As the book says, “They stopped in time”. The decision to stop is yours. If you need help with that, we can show you a way that works. We are here for you to support you in what ever way we can.
The obsession and urges to stop drinking can and do go away when embracing the first simple principles found in AA. The program then teaches you the skills necessary to learn to live life again without alcohol. Remember, alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. Our self-will is not enough. It’s always waiting there for us. Just when we think we’re in control, we find out quickly that we are not.
Keep posting. Keep coming back, because this stuff works. Hope to see and hear from you on Wednesday and reading your posts here!! Tom G.
