- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Heidi Quist.
September 3, 2015 at 2:40 am #3968Jodi LParticipant
First I would like to say thanks for this site so I can turn to it and ask for help and advice.
I am new to sponsoring and am currently taking someone through the steps. She is struggling and I am not sure what advice to give her to help her through this rough point. She is not getting much support from people close to her.September 10, 2015 at 7:20 am #3970Tom GParticipant
Jodi, sorry for the delayed response…when someone is being taken through the steps and struggling, it may be best for them to pause in advancing in the steps and go back and rework steps 1-3. Maybe your sponsee didn’t fully embrace the concept that a higher power could return her to sanity. She may still be relying on her own power. We all know that doesn’t work!
I wonder if advice is what a struggling person is looking for. I think the steps first prepare us through realization, then take action that leads to recovery. Maybe rather than looking to give advise, guide your sponsee through each step’s preparation and action. If you do want to give advice, just share your own experiences. Slogans and catch phrases aren’t nearly as effective as your own reality.
If your sponsee is not getting support from those close to her, she’ll need to spend time with those that will; the fellowship of AA. Maybe get her to more meetings to meet people she can get support from.
Ultimately, know that not every sponsee is going to stay sane and sober. No one has a 100% success rate as a sponser. If your sponsee is not successful, that is not a reflection of you or your skills in recovery.
I’m pulling for your sponsee, you and every alcoholic to make it.
Tom G.September 15, 2015 at 7:28 pm #3971Jodi LParticipant
Thanks much for your advice Tom. We did stop and pause and she did more work on steps 1 and 2. She is ready for taking step 3 on Wednesday, so we will see what happens then.
jodiSeptember 15, 2015 at 9:19 pm #3972Heidi QuistKeymaster
Jodi – I love that you hit the forums for help and experience. I think Tom did hit the nail on the head and when people don’t have the support of those around them they will really struggle. I always take a lot of careful time on 1-3 to make sure my sponsees really embrace those three before we move on! Doing great Jodi!