- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by Heidi Quist.
May 2, 2014 at 1:45 am #27423Antonia DietrichParticipant
I’m looking for some advice for some ways that you have found to deal with any resentments you are harboring in order to strengthen your support system and help avoid relapsing?May 2, 2014 at 6:10 pm #27424Heidi QuistKeymaster
Hi not sure how I can help but can you elaborate a little on your situation? I know I have had to work closely with my sponsor on making sure I don’t build resentments further along in my recovery and when I first got sober. If I had any resentments my sponsor always had me do a 4th step on it surrounding resentments and then I had to look at my part and where I was causing the issue. If there was anything I was doing then I had to make the amends for that even if they had done something wrong to me…at least I was clearing my side of the street. Does that make sense? I try to forgive at all costs now a days because it isn’t worth my happiness to get so angry or frustrated about how a situation didn’t set well with me. I can chose what I say but I can’t choose what other say BUT I can choose how I let what others say effect me!May 2, 2014 at 6:39 pm #27425Antonia DietrichParticipant
I am having a very hard time approaching the 4th step and my resentments due to the trauma in my life, which I know I harbour resentment for, I was raped repeatedly by the same person over the span of 4 months to which the last time it happened he was murdered by a neighbor of mine. This situation as most could assume, lead to a heavy portion of my alcohol use, depression, anxiety, fear of sexual activities and resentment. I have maintained my own sobriety since September 15th 2012 and have been in OP treatment for over a year of that , I also take private counseling to help with the trauma and have now been in AA for over 4 months. Was just looking for some advice from others, as I know dealing with trauma and your resentments in the 4th step can cause relapse’s which I really want to prevent.May 2, 2014 at 10:53 pm #27426Heidi QuistKeymaster
I read your post and my heart goes out to you. I am working on some ideas that may help you with this. Give me a little bit of time and I will send you a message. I did friend you on myRecovery so we can talk though messages easier. 🙂 Heidi