Cristi – I have been where you are in the sense of taking pain meds for pain and getting hooked on them. I went to treatment and they detoxed me off of pain meds in three weeks. The reason I say the exact amount of time is because I had been taking them so long and so many a day that my detox wasn’t easy…but I did it. I was taking more than 50 pills A DAY and had been taking the meds for over 5 years straight. I was a walking dead person. When I walked into treatment they were shocked my liver hadn’t given up on me. I knew I had to get off everything in order to be happy, joyous and free. At first when they told me I would feel better I thought they were nuts…I had sweats, couldn’t stop moving, I had a feeling of bugs crawling under my skin, my joints hurt and it took every ounce of energy just to get out of bed…it was miserable and I thought I was going to die. Fast forward almost 5 years and here I am not one drug in my system and I’m happy and free. I still have friends who are on Methadone or Subutex/Suboxone and they aren’t happy, depressed and nothing has changed even tho they got ride of the actual drug. Two of my friends tried to get sober when I did and they are still standing in methadone lines and taking other drugs as well now because it pushed them into doing other things. I’m so glad that up front I decided I’m done and I want to be free. I did have duel diagnosis when I went into treatment but about a year after I was sober the depressing and everything subsided and I was fine…no more depression meds or anything. I had a really good counselor and sponsor to get me through the hard times. Three main things…Go to MEETINGS, Get a SPONSOR and be of SERVICE! Once I got out of my own head and started going to meetings, putting chairs up, greeting people and pouring coffee and got into the fellowship of AA I started to arrive to a place when I felt comfortable and free. I know it isn’t easy but I will tell you one thing…the pain I had to go through up front was worth every minute because now I am free. It took a while but I am free from obsession, pain, anxiety, depression…you name it and the weight has been lifted. It is true what the Big Book says in the promises…the promises will come true…if you work for them. I see my poor friends who are still struggling and it hurts my heart but I can’t do anything about that but try to set an example of strength and courage for them so they know there is a way and there is hope. Stay strong and keep writing it might help! I use to write all the time when I first got sober it helped me out a ton sorting through feelings and questions that I had about recovery.
Grateful – Heidi