I thought my crazy years were when I was trying hard to get sober and keeping on the straight and narrow. Well, I wish…my crazy years actually ended up being the years I was raising my teenage daughter that thought she knew more than I! These years were so hard as my daughter knew I was in recovery and she did watch me when I was not so sober and used that to her advantage. She was always able to throw the guilt and shame card on the table and get away with what she wanted to because I felt so awful. She was able to get away with it until she arrived into her last year of high school and I had enough of being what I like to call “child bullied”.
I had been doing living amends for the better part of 8 years and I wasn’t about to let my child keep throwing things in my face when I was showing up, going the extra mile, providing, and giving her anything she needed! I felt like I had finally reached a point in my life where if I didn’t put my foot down and say enough is enough that I would start to believe everything she was telling me. With the direction of my sponsor and everything I learned in the program of AA I had a sit down chat with her about all the things that had gone down in the last 4 years…and if any of you know what it is like to talk to a teenager about things that are serious it is NOT easy. She took everything as I had anticipated, she went to live with her father….because hey, the grass is always greener. RIGHT!!! She lived there for a year and then begged to come back after hours of apologizing. I knew this would happen but I needed her to see the work I was doing and how I was actually being her parent not her best friend.
I don’t know what I would have done without the program of recovery, having to deal with this took so much patience and courage. This program gave me a sounding board to talk raw about what I was going through as a parent and the emotions I was dealing with. Most of the moms around me(normies) all said, oh I just drink a glass of wine and check out…well, that’s great, I can’t do that! I have to deal with the emotions and learn how to process them without liquor to help. I can’t say there weren’t times that I wasn’t tempted to run down and grab some because man it would have been nice to check out. That was the problem though…I would check out with no end in sight. I worked so hard on the 12 steps during my daughters high school years to keep me sane. At the end of the high school years I had moms come up to me and ask me how I did it. I said AA, while they all gave me an odd look at first some called me years later because they then needed help themselves and I was there to do a step 12 with them! If I had not been open and honest with these moms some may be still out there living in their closets with a bottle of wine clutched in their hands praying for the emotional pain to stop!
The teen years were hard in recovery but staying close to the program and being able to share this program with others had really helped me get through those years. Stay strong, be open, be raw, and stay strong…nothing is worth that drink!
Written By: mom00soul