I have been through the same thing over and over it seems around my 4th year in sobriety I started to realize…I wasn’t always handing it over…letting it go…letting God…this was key for me. I started to ask God for his guidance in acceptance and to help me know what the difference is and to help me let go when I need to. For me things got much easier when I took a back seat and let God take the wheel. I have been riding happily in the backseat for over an year and things seem much easier and go smoother for me from time to time. Not sure if this helps but thank you for your post it helped me today!