All thoughts and expression of experiences help. Thank you for that.
I totally agree that turning one’s life and will over to God leads to a sane and sober life. I know that following my own will only lead me to death’s door. Each morning I say, “I’m an alcoholic. Today, I cannot drink. Lord, guide me to live your will today”. As I hit the pillow each night, I say something like, “I didn’t drink today. This was a good day”. All of that is well and good.
During the day, though, I’ll go through periods of being angry or frustrated. I often wonder if that’s the result of me trying to put my will ahead of God’s. Or, have I damaged something inside my brain where a full day of “normal” or positive thought isn’t possible?
Is this natural for an alcoholic? Is this something that I’ll grow out of, with enough sober time? I’m only 9 months of being sober. I’d like to know if things will naturally change for the better over time, or if how I am now will need to be accepted and just carry on.
It sounds trite, but I really like the ‘good’ times. I’d like to know that life will be ‘good’ with some periods of down…and not the reverse.