Sarah, without knowing too much about your situation I would suggest getting to a meeting, if don’t already go to one. Get to other meetings, if you have the chance. Maybe there is a meeting out there that can help you deal with the triggers that lead to relapse.
If you don’t have a sponsor, get one. With a sponsor, work or re-work the first three steps. Work them until you have a strong foundation for recovery. The first three steps gets you to be sane and sober, the remaining steps give you the tools to remain sober on a day to day basis.
Through the steps I learned that I am a selfish person. For me, my triggers revolve around living life according to my will and having resentments against the people in my life who get in the way of my will and view of how things should be done.
Through the steps and the program I’ve learned to recognize the triggers as they are occurring. I’ve also learned to let go of my will. My resentments and the triggers go away when I turn my will and life over to my Higher Power. Sobriety and all of the good things that brings with it are there when I live my program.
Sobriety is a gift we get to receive on a daily basis. It’s worth the effort. But we must be willing.
I’m pulling for you to get and stay sober. To build the skills necessary to remain happy, joyous and free. I’m not alone in this pulling for you…there’s a whole fellowship out there ready to listen and help.
Keep coming back and let us know how you’re doing! Tom G.