Well I made it 14 days then back again to same habit. Today is day 3 again. I did seek out a grief support group that will begin in two weeks. I’m hoping that will help on the grief side. And maybe I will try the next online meeting here this week. It is such a back and forth event. One minute I think I am fine and don’t need help then another think to myself yes this is a problem if I am drinking alone at home and mostly during more stressful times or after a buildup of trying not to drink. A friend keeps telling me that if I can’t go 30, 60, or 90 days without it being such a struggle then it may be a problem. And the fact that I feel I need to calm down, crave it, or want to escape might be another clue. I am really frustrated that I can’t just knock this out on my own. I will try again.