This is the number 1 issue I struggle with. How do I accept myself when I have done what I have done. After the clean time and hard work doing the steps, being of service at the area level and the group level, I still could not gain forgiveness from my former life. That has made it really hard to accept myself. But, as bad as I feel. The guilt, depression, anxiety, everything. I must not loose focus on what I have today. Success is having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have. My sponsor and his wife have shown me compassion and love I have not experienced before. I still have my father in my life and however dim it may seem, I still have a hope for a better future.
My guilt is my addiction trying to get a foot in the door. Once it is in, it will give me a slow and painful death