Thanks for sharing your story here on MyRecov. It sounds like you need a major change in your life to make a transition off the bad stuff. You should try a few things and see if you can find some positive activity that really interests you. I’m wishing you the best of luck. Any place where you can stay to bleed out the bad stuff would be good. Maybe a friend’s cabin in woods?
You could also look into some self help groups. There’s AA if you are already religious or you could try SOS or SMART recovery if you aren’t already religious.
Hope you find your way.