Re: Helping a sponsee

Tom G

Jodi, sorry for the delayed response…when someone is being taken through the steps and struggling, it may be best for them to pause in advancing in the steps and go back and rework steps 1-3. Maybe your sponsee didn’t fully embrace the concept that a higher power could return her to sanity. She may still be relying on her own power. We all know that doesn’t work!

I wonder if advice is what a struggling person is looking for. I think the steps first prepare us through realization, then take action that leads to recovery. Maybe rather than looking to give advise, guide your sponsee through each step’s preparation and action. If you do want to give advice, just share your own experiences. Slogans and catch phrases aren’t nearly as effective as your own reality.

If your sponsee is not getting support from those close to her, she’ll need to spend time with those that will; the fellowship of AA. Maybe get her to more meetings to meet people she can get support from.

Ultimately, know that not every sponsee is going to stay sane and sober. No one has a 100% success rate as a sponser. If your sponsee is not successful, that is not a reflection of you or your skills in recovery.

I’m pulling for your sponsee, you and every alcoholic to make it.

Tom G.