I don’t think you are ready. And one sign that things will return to normal is his comment…
“Can’t you just fly me in?” This is a huge issue regarding boundaries. Your boundaries and
consequences. I would have said to him, “That doesn’t work for us.” or Simply “Yes, we could,
we aren’t going to.” The time has come for him to realize you aren’t an ATM or the enablers you have been.
Dynamics of the family have to change – or things will simply go back to the way they were.
Just as there are conditions at the home he is living – there must be conditions while he is visiting.
If you aren’t ready for the stress and drama – be honest. Tell him you are proud of how well he is doing, and while he might be ready to see you – you are not ready to see him.
Take care of yourself.