I knew the underlying habit I needed to change first, in order to change the others: I needed to stop drinking. Period.

After a lifetime of forgotten drinks, I believe I will remember this particular glass of chardonnay for as long as I live.

I had been in a bad way for years, although few people knew how bad off I was. I had long progressed into the habitual cycle of drinking away hangovers. It was the best method I knew to kill a hangover, until the day I figured out a more effective way.

At this particular juncture of my drinking life, I was freshly unemployed. I had quit my miserable full-time job, to which I often showed up buzzed at 9am; during which I often drank on my lunch breaks; and after each shift of which I usually drank myself into oblivion, so then I would wake up hungover the next day and do it all over again. I had left that miserable job for a job that seemed more suited for me, although, during my interview process, I ignored several red flags. I didn’t care. I needed a way out, no matter what.

The new job lasted a shift-and-a-half before I exploded on my boss with the observation that we were in the embryonic phase of a two-way-crazy-making-relationship, and I had finally hit my drama limit.

I stormed out of his mansion, drove down the Hollywood Hills and straight to Whole Foods. I purchased three large bottles of high-end organic sake and ignited a four-day, round-the-clock binge. My on-again-off-again intimate relationship had come to a halt about three days before the new job had; so I was alone, unemployed, drunk and depressed—I had created a perfect storm. Read more “the fix”…