Judith Orloff MD, author of The Power of Surrender, on how letting go…
I am blessed to have 27 years of sobriety. A day at a time, I am gradually trusting my higher power more and more. A huge part of that trust comes from learning to surrender to God’s will on a deeper and deeper level. As a physician, I’m trained to take control, solve problems, and deal with life-and-death emergencies. I was never trained to surrender to a higher power as part of my work. As a woman in recovery, it has also been a challenge for me to relinquish control—even after I’ve done the footwork to “make things happen.”
A part of me feels that if I don’t do something myself, it won’t be done well or it simply won’t happen. What I’ve grappled with on a spiritual level is, “How can some force other than myself—even God—do a better job taking care of my life than I could?” What I realized is this is my ego speaking, not the intuitive part, which can sense and know a higher power exists that can align with my highest needs in the most perfect way if I just surrender to it. Surrender is a positive, healthy state. Being a surrendered person does not mean one is being passive, is beaten down and so hopeless he or she has “given up.” It’s quite the contrary. Surrender is a state of living in the flow, trusting what is, and being open to serendipity and surprises.
As I write in my book on the power of surrender, adopting the behaviors and habits of surrendered people helps us improve our relationships, feel love and gratitude, get healthier, give up destructive people and behavior patterns, and become more successful in our personal lives and careers. And that’s just the beginning, as far as benefits go.
ng go can lead to joy and success.
In my medical practice, I’ve identified specific habits of surrendered people that dramatically enhance my patients’ well-being and allows them to excel in many aspects of their lives. Here are seven of them that you can practice, too.
1. Recognize you can’t control everything.
Being a control freak makes us tense, stressed out, and unpleasant to be with. Surrendered people understand that they can’t always change a situation, especially when the door is shut. They don’t try to force it open. Instead, they pay attention to their own behavior, look at the situation at hand, and find a new, different, and creative way to get beyond the obstacles. Remember, if you are powerless to change a situation, you always have the power to change your own attitude.