One thing I’ve learned is that being supportive means keeping your loved one accountable.

Relapse—the dreaded “r” word.

In a world where binge drinking, drug use and eating disorders/addiction are on the rise it’s likely we all know someone who is either suffering from an addiction or subsequently in recovery from one.

For eight years I struggled with eating disorders and the consequences that ensued from putting my body through tremendous trauma. Even despite two years of recovery now under my belt, I’m still the first to admit that it is often a murky road to navigate, so what do you do when your loved one inevitably teeters the ambiguous line between recovery and relapse?

Recently, I learned for myself when my best friend/ex-partner was diagnosed with the flu. Currently in recovery for pill and opiate addiction, my friend was prescribed Tylenol with codeine, which he has struggled with, and is not allowed to possess in his sober living house.

In the past I, too, have been prone to putting myself in situations that I know could lead to a relapse so I tried immediately (and as best I could) to put myself in his shoes and think about what I’ve needed when I’ve been on the treadmill, unable to get off, or sitting in the dark with a box of cereal, trying so desperately hard not to fall into the binge cycle I created for myself.

Ultimately, here are the four steps that worked for me:

1) Check Your Emotions

When my friend told me he had received codeine, my immediate reaction was to play cop and demand that he freeze with his arms in the air.

“You can’t have that!” I wanted to scream. “You’re an addict. We’re different than other people. DROP IT. THROW IT AWAY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU’RE GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING.”  Read more “the fix”…