One more post: I understand your statement about it being everyone else’s fault. I blamed my husband many times. I always told him he blew things out of proportion and that if he wouldn’t be so negative and against drinking it wouldn’t be a big deal. And that it wasn’t bad to just have a drink every now and then. However my one drink most times turned into many and a drunk state. And sometimes extremely drunk state. Now he is not here to blame anymore and I wish I had conquered this before he passed. Now I see though that it wasn’t fault. It was me.