Hey I hear what you are saying. It’s hard I have been there. In the beginning I knew I needed help it was just how or where I was going to get it. I ended up going to treatment but I have seen a lot of people do it through AA meetings, Online meetings, Sponsor and service work through AA. Write in the forum again if there is anything you need help with. This site also offers online meetings and a resource center to help you find meetings in your area if you need it! Hope all is well.