At times I struggle with the concept of Alcoholism being a “disease” because I am watching my dear sister die from terminal cancer. There is a difference…..I did not choose to become an alcoholic, just as my sister did not choose to be stricken with cancer. I have a choice to recover from this “disease” with the help of many great people in the recovery community. Even though many people are helping my sister, no one can “really help her”. There is no choice for recovery. Her disease is fatal, just as alcoholism is.
The impact and devistation on other family members is great in both cases. My drinking caused problems…..this was my doing and no one else was to blame. The love, caring and compassion towards my sick sister is also filled with sorrow, remorse, pain, anger and frustration. These feelings are present towards myself as well but is directed in much more of a negative way. I get it. I understand it. I accept it.
I get a chance to make a change for the better in my life and for everyone around me. When I look at my sister I ask myself how could I have been so selfish? Then I ask god to grant us both another 24 hours.
It is true that the end result is the same. Death.
I choose to live.