Thank you Heidi. This is day 9 and I have to say I am now wondering if I need to follow through with this. The counselor said I do, and what I have is an addiction. However, I have went 9 days and last time went 14 days. I just visited with a good friend and asked her if she thought maybe I had blown this alcohol thing out of proportion. Maybe it is not an issue. I have not had to suffer any terrible consequences like losing my license or my kids. I seem to think I am not that bad and might not need to attend face to face meetings or pursue this. My friend says that if you can’t go without it for 30, 60, or 90 days and I crave it to escape or other things then it is an issue. The counselor said the same thing and recommended a face to face group. I believe my pride is getting in the way and I do not necessarily want to attend face to face meeting. I have read the Big Book and I can relate. However, I wonder if this is just becuase of the grief of losing my husband and eventually it will pass. But I know there has been somewhat an issue for 20 years with drinking and not able to stop at some points. I am probably in a little denial and I am probably trying to rationalize this. Anyone else experience this before when taking those first steps?